I have been having a crisis of (Internet) identity lately. At some point in the last year, I stopped writing for myself–to get my thoughts out–and started writing for the approval of others. Maybe this is why my brain seems to be jumbled. I haven’t allocated enough time to think things through and over-analyze (as I am known to do).
It would be easy for me to say that “so much has happened” but I feel that is partly a lie. In fact, nothing really has changed in my life; I just moved to different interests/obsessions. And somehow, it made my life come to a screeching halt.
&—-
I came to a very important realization this week: I was not meant to go to UCLA School of Law. For the last couple of years, I thought that this was what I wanted. It was my first choice law school. But if it was so important, wouldn’t I have at least applied in a timely fashion?
As I was driving by the campus, I just did not feel a connection to it anymore. I was holding onto the past because I had such an amazing time there when I attended for my undergraduate studies, but I was a different person then.
I think I am ready for change. Nothing is keeping me in Los Angeles anymore. Maybe that is why I am so frustrated lately.